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Post by Dr. J. Grayson on Feb 11, 2014 23:22:12 GMT -6
"A soda," And now he was going to mock her. It was enough that she almost walked away but instead just stood there like he didn't exist. "Too uptight to get something than can actually loosen her up." Pretending not to hear him, Julianna ignored his opinions about her life. She knew why she did things, and if he didn't approve it meant nothing to her. "I think you're too close to me right now. Don't you have a rule? There's gotta be like ten feet between us." She wished the rule could be more. Once the soda got there she picked it up and drank some before reaching for some money.
"I'll cover her for the soda," No! He would not! Looking over at him for once, she noticed he trying to work the money in this wallet. So was so drunk, and she knew it. What and idiot. He turned to her then and stepped closer, speaking in the voice he knew she loved. "You ruined my life." He was blaming her for what?! "I hate you for it... but it's impossible to hate you." Why hate her? What had she ever done to him? His whispering did things to her, but she was not moving, not giving him an inch.
"Try profiling that!" She watched him pull out his keys and she saw her mother again, who would sometimes try to drive to the store for more. Reaching out she snatched the keys from his hand, knowing she only got them because he was slow. Turning she walked out, and toward the door, also knowing he would chase her, and the cooler air would give him a slight wake up call. "Your drunk, I will call you a cab."
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Post by Derek Jackson on Feb 12, 2014 8:53:19 GMT -6
 Suddenly, the keys disappeared from his hands and it took him a few moments to realize that she had taken them from him. He followed her to the door as she stated that he was drunk and that she would call him a cab. It made him scoff as he went outside, and faced her once more. "Right! Cause you won't be in a car with me," he stated. Even in his drunk mind, he remembered why. "And you love cabs. Bet you got them on speed dial," he added bitterly since she had taken a cab that night they had been together in his car... or well, on his car. The last time he was with her. And thoughts of that, of how he missed her, continued to fuel his bitterness.
He reached out, swinging his arm as he tried to grab the keys from her... but he was very off in his attempt, and it only made him stagger to the side. "I don't need you to do anything for me!" He said, that same bitter tone in his voice... emphasis on the word need. "Even though I need you." Knowing it sounded almost contradictory he chuckled at his own words, though was clearly annoyed at the whole situation. So just finish it off with gaining his footing and holding out his hands to her expectantly. "Give me my damn keys." |
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Post by Dr. J. Grayson on Feb 12, 2014 14:01:14 GMT -6
He tried to get the keys from her, but she ignored him while dialing her phone. Julianna had not even moved, he just had not dept perception. He was her mother. Drunk and not caring! It disgusted her. "I don't need you to do anything for me!" Clearly. Ignoring him she was about to hit call when he spoke again. "Even though I need you." She was used to drunk rants about needing people, and how sorry they were. Julianna had not expected that to come from him though.
Looking over at him for a long moment she only commented on that. "What does that mean?" Jackson didn't need anyone. He was a caveman who pushed everyone away and enjoyed making everyone hate him as much as she could only imagined he hated them. She was the last person he'd ever need. His actions while sober had long proved that. She had been covenant, and then he'd no longer cared. He pulled things from her. Made her open up herself once again to him, and then left her nakked, reeling, and humiliated on the hood of his car like an ornament.
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Post by Derek Jackson on Feb 12, 2014 21:58:59 GMT -6
She wasn't giving him his keys... at least he didn't think she was. He had to check his hand for a second to make sure he didn't actually have it. She was asking him what that meant, and he couldn't remember what she was asking him about. Didn't matter though. He would give her an answer about something or another. "What do you think it means," he questioned, as if she had asked him something that was so blatantly obvious.
"There are so many women out there!" His thoughts were connected... somehow. "So why the hell do I keep coming back to you?!" He demanded, as if she had the answer. And right, in his incoherent inebrieted mind... he expected her to. "What is it about you?" He further questioned. "Damn fine before. Perfectly fine!" He felt the bitterness coming out... unleashing itself. "Never had to be with anyone more than a few days... then I get stuck with your for months!" Each and every day, having only built their relationship to... whatever it was now. "I hate you," he repeated, not realizing that he had already said this inside the bar. |
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Post by Dr. J. Grayson on Feb 12, 2014 22:12:12 GMT -6
Why did he go back to her? Because humiliating her was so much fun! Julianna hit the screen lock on her phone, and while she knew better then to argue with a drunken idiot--as they tended to only drag you down to their level then beat you with their experience--she had to hear him say why before he sobered up and shut up. Even before she spoke, she knew this was a mistake.
"You asked me to profile that, so here is how I see it. You hate me, I scan see that!" She stepped forward so her words could not be over heard but was ready to move back before he could touch her. "You enjoy hurting me, because you blame me for getting you a desk job, and making you work cases that don't get you that adrenaline rush you are addicted to like a druggie."
"You mock my control, because you like to think you live without it, but love it. You crave control. Everything has to be in your control. You control me when you take me, you control everyone around you because it becomes easier to let you then to fight the force that you come at everyone. You take on a job that is ideally a heroic job but you hate it when people thank you."
"So hate me, and know that I hate you back." But that was a lie. Even after everything, she wasn't sure it was hate. But she was afraid of him.
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Post by Derek Jackson on Feb 13, 2014 12:26:24 GMT -6
He listened to her as much as his intoxicated mind would allow him to and actually comprehend. All the control stuff she said sounded about right, but it was her other words that he was more fixated on. The part about him enjoying hurting her. It wasn't entirely true. He wasn't some sort of sadist. It wasn't like he actually enjoyed hurting her, he just felt like he had to because it would make this all seem less... real. "You're a shitty profiler," he stated bluntly, half amused, half annoyed but mostly just drunk.
"I don't enjoy hurting you. I do it cause I gotta." He had no choice. It was her fault. "If you weren't so damn... " He lost his train of thought mid sentence. "I do what I have to do make this less... real. Cause I hate thinkin' about you, and I hate needin' you. And I just... hate you!" Which he didn't. He hated what she was doing to him. Turning him into some sort of love sick puppy. "You control me!" He stated. Not physically, but... more emotionally which was even worse than anything else. "I can't control myself no more." Because while he could over power her, and that was the kind of control he assumed she was talking about... it was really her who was controlling him, at least that's how he saw it. |
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Post by Dr. J. Grayson on Feb 13, 2014 17:53:45 GMT -6
"You're a shitty profiler," Julianna didn't think she was that far off. If he was lashing out it meant she had hit really close to the mark. A wrong reply he would have found funny. "I don't enjoy hurting you. I do it cause I gotta." "Wha--" She cut off the word, unable to even ask what he was talking about because she was so surprised by his words. "If you weren't so damn... " So what? If she wasn't so what?!
"I do what I have to do make this less... real. Cause I hate thinkin' about you, and I hate needin' you. And I just... hate you!" He needed her? Julianna stared at him, not sure what to make of this drunken rant. Her mind was reeling, and she wanted to make him talk when he was sober and not when he was drunk and being foolish. "You control me!" "No one controls you." She said, but Julianna doubted he could hear her. "I can't control myself no more."
"That is the worst reason I have ever heard, to hurt someone." And it was. It was stupid and horrible, and mean. So very, very mean. What did she even say to that? "You think this is any easier for me? You think I like not being able to stay away from you no matter how much you hurt, and humiliate me?"
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Post by Derek Jackson on Feb 14, 2014 17:54:41 GMT -6
She was telling him that it was a bad reason to hurt someone... and he knew even in his drunken state that it didn't make sense. But nor could he explain it better. She went on to ask if he thought it was any easier for her... and only partially understood her words. "Then why the hell do you let me?!" He demanded, taking a step toward her, but staggering to the side, so grabbed onto the wall instead, trying to clear his vision because he knew there couldn't be two of her. There was only one Grayson. Thankfully. "Why don't you say no?! Why don't you hit me or somethin'?!" In her defense, he knew he tended to not listen to her protests... like when he had climbed on the ladder with her. But he was talking about more in the moment.
He wasn't going to seriously take advantage of her to the extent of committing a crime. "You are so damn hard to understand!" He said, continuing to rant. "We mess around, you run off." After their first night. "Then you hide from me!" In the archive room. "Then you mess around with me again!" She should have pushed him off the ladder. "Then you tell me to piss off!" After he pulled a bit of a stunt with her lingerie. "Then you make out with me in my car!" He had sommehow managed to remember in this state, that she was the one who had kissed him. "Make up your damn mind! Why the hell do you let me do stuff to you, if you know its gonna end the way it does!" End in humiliation. "Shit woman. I can't think clearly around you!" He would regret that admittance in the morning... if he remembered any fo this conversation. "So do us both a favor and use that smart brain of yours to do the thinkin' for us both!" Because she had this power over him that kept him going back to her... when he shouldn't be so susceptible to her. |
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Post by Dr. J. Grayson on Feb 15, 2014 19:20:52 GMT -6
"I TRY!" She hissed back at him, "I try to avoid you! I have done it pretty well since the day I got shot! Which, just to be clear, I kissed you because I when your not bullying me--when you have my back, Jackson, I know nothing will happen to me. I needed to feel safe like that in that moment because in case you forgot I had just been shot!"
Stepping back she realized that once again she was arguing with a drunk, and she hated herself for what he did to her. "Come one. I'm going to get you home then go back to pretending your not there--for us both." Because he was apparently begging her to do it for him. Why he could not be an adult and do it himself, she would never know. "Just do me the favor and until I can make them give me a new partner, stop going to my office and waiting on me. I will just let you know when I need you. Until then go hang out at a donuts shop."
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