A Difficult Conversation

[danigirl]

Sara Lance was home. Not home, as in her Dad's place, but home as in Starling City. And that was not part of the plan. The last thing she needed was to be home, and she definitely shouldn't be with Oliver Queen, headed for his house. Yet, here she was. 'This is what happens when you try and do a good thing,' she thought.
The car ride had been silent. Not an uncomfortable silence, but one that was weighed down by the conversation Sara knew was to come. She knew the risk of going to check on Sin. She knew there was a chance that she might run into Oliver. But Sara'd had a plan. She was ready to do whatever it took to brush him off and get the hell outta dodge. But somehow he'd managed to convince her to stay. He'd always been very convincing.
Not liking where her thoughts were going, Sara glanced out the window as the car started to make its way up the Queen's drive. It wasn't the first time she'd been here, but she could honestly say she never thought she'd be back. Even if she hadn't gotten lost at sea, forced to work for an evil mastermind, and then taken in by the League of Assassins, she just assumed when Laurel and Oliver's family found out about her and Ollie, she'd never be welcome.
'Still just as grand as ever', she thought to herself as Ollie pulled up and stopped at the front door. Sara reached for the handle, stepped out and shut the car door behind her. As she waited for Oliver to escort her where ever they were going, she said, "Never thought I'd see this place again."

tag: Oliver Queen

[Oliver Queen]

Oliver was still processing all that had happened. Sara had returned and she had been through more than what Oliver knew since the last time they had seen each other. Since the freighter. She had learned to fight, and she too now wore a mask and acted under the guise of a vigilante. One who's primary concern had been her family. And she had even saved him from the clutch of the police when Laurel had trapped him. But she was not the same person. Just as he was not. He knew it would take time to move past the wall, but if there was anyone that could understand . . . it was him. Because he had been through unimaginable things too. They were similar, in that way. Yet there was one thing he carried that she didn't -- or at least he hoped she didn't -- and that was guilt. For whatever had happened to her was his fault. But now was not the time to express that . . . not that there would ever be a time to do so. He had managed to convince Sara to stay in Starling, and hoped he could convince her to return to her family. He could not make the decision for her, nor force her hand . . . she had to do it because she wanted to, not because he did.

They neared his estate and he brought the car to the front, parking it and getting out to escort Sara inside. The house had felt less like a home with his mother and Thea not in it. He was pulled from his thoughts when Sara spoke about how she'd never thought she would see this place again. That made two of them. For he had never thought he would actually get off that island. He wished she could and would return home, so that he could find some comfort in the company of her family . . . so that she too could be home. But he didn't want to push her. Especially after just arriving to his house. "With my mother and Thea out, it will be the perfect place for you to stay." Hidden, for as long as she needed to be. His mother was not going to be released any time soon, and Thea was most often at Roy's. "So please, treat it as you would your own home." He wanted her to feel comfortable. Even if it wasn't actually her home. For there was no other place apart from her family's home that could provide her with any semblance of solace. He made his way to the door, opening it and allowing her to step inside first before he followed.

[danigirl]

Sara preceded him into the house, stopping in the entryway. Not much had changed since she was last here. New sitting room furniture, a new piece of art on the wall, it reflected the wealth and refined taste of the Queen family. Not like her childhood home.
For a moment, she let herself remember. The pink walls, the stuffed animals-Laurel being across the hall. Spending time with her mom in the kitchen or watching movies on the couch, smothered in blankets. The rush of memories came unbidden from where she had buried them, assailing her. Her stomach dropped out, and she though she might get sick.

Sara thought she had moved past all this. She shouldn't feel anything in regard to her family or the life she castoff; the League was her family. Once you were theirs, nothing else mattered. This is why she should have said no; being here was damaging her calm. She couldn't be this close to home and not start to hope. Hope that maybe she could see her family, maybe she could get Laurel to forgive her. But then, as Sara turned back to face Ollie as he closed the door, she knew hope was futile. She couldn't forgive herself for what she'd done-how would her sister ever be able to? And to find out the life she had been leading as an assassin? When both her father and sisters lives were dedicated to justice and seeing people like her put away? No, what Sara did was unforgivable, and she might be monster, but she wasn't so cruel that she would force her resurrection on her family now. Whatever Oliver thought he could do to convince her otherwise wouldn't work. She only had to look at him to be reminded that she deserved neither forgiveness nor acceptance.

Sara schooled her features when Oliver turned to face her, hoping none of her guilt or anxiety showed on her face. Crossing her arms she said, "Thanks. I haven't really had a home in a while, so..." Sara wasn't sure why she'd said that. She wasn't looking for sympathy-she thought she might have been trying to make a joke, but she hadn't tried in so long, the idea was foreign to her. Trying to shake off all the thoughts plaguing her she continued, "Um, where should i put my stuff?"

[Oliver Queen]

Sara spoke of how she hadn't had a home in a while, and he knew the feeling. Though was doing all he could to not lead a conversation back to convincing her to go home, even though her words had introduced a great opportunity to. When he had returned, he of course was different. And knew that it was difficult for his mother and Thea to understand that. To them, he had been dead. But it was when he returned that he had felt dead. She asked where she should put her stuff, and Oliver took a step toward her. "Allow me," he said, taking her bag from her before she had the chance to object. It wasn't that he thought her incapable of carrying her own bag, it was just a natural reaction for him to want to lessen the load for her. "This way," he said softly, leading her up the stairs.

They had quite a few guest rooms, and he wanted to pick one that would be a convenient location for her. Silently, he led her down the hall, arriving at the room and pushing the door open as he stepped inside, setting her bags on the bed. "I hope this is alright," he both asked and stated. He recalled how difficult it had been for him to even lie in a bed after being on the island for so long. And for what little he did sleep . . . it wasn't always on the bed. Sometimes he dozed off on the couch. Other times he would end up sleeping on the floor. "Do you want a tour of the house or do you remember it pretty well?" His voice was slightly teasing, attempting to lighten the mood just a little. He was so glad to see she was alive; to see that she had made it. In all they would have to talk about, all the intense subjects and conversations . . . why not try to pretend like they were both normal, even for just a little while.

[danigirl]

Sara followed Oliver into the guest room, noting that he set her things down on the bed. She stopped in the middle of the room. Just like the rest of the house, it was elegant, tasteful, and screamed wealth. The bed was large, and looked comfortable. She hadn't had a good nights sleep in years. Some nights were better than others, and she got a solid four hours of dreamless sleep. No nightmares about the things she'd seen, or the things she'd done. She doubted tonight would be a good night. To many memories had been dredged up, her emotions were uncharacteristically...out of whack. Her demons would be putting in an appearance whether she was up for it or not.

Nothing to be done now though. She was here, and would have to make the best of it. She assumed he too suffered from nightmares. She wanted to ask him about it. She wanted to ask if it got better. He had forged a new life for himself since he'd returned. She saw he was different. Granted he was a masked vigilante, but he seemed to be well adjusted otherwise. And he had people, friends, who knew his secret, and still accepted him. Hell, they helped him in his quest to save this city. Before she got lost in her own head again, she refocused back in the now. Oliver was asking her if needed a tour. She remember the layout well enough. She'd been given a tour by him and Tommy years ago when she had come over with Laurel for the first time. She knew she was near the back staircase, and if she went down those, would end up near the family room.

"No, I think I remember." She smiled at him, realizing a small part of her was glad she'd come. She could admit that she was happy to be around a friendly face. She could use a reprieve from the mess that was her life, so she decided to let herself relax for the time being. It was getting late and she was starting to get hungry. She also wanted to talk to Ollie. Sara knew the conversation would lead back to her family, and, okay, she was glad she got to be near them for another few days. But if he was going to badger her about her family, then she got to interrogate him about his life now. And she had questions about the island as well.

"Umm, thank you. For the room and a place to stay. You didn't have to go out of your way for me, but I appreciate that you did. And that you're still looking out for me after all these years. And I'm not promising anything, but maybe it's not so bad if i stick around for a day or too. Make sure Sin really is gonna be okay. And maybe look in on Laurel and my Dad one more time. Besides, I have some questions for you and i know you have things you want to discuss with me."

[Oliver Queen]

Oliver looked at her as she began to thank him. He knew she didn't have to do that. She was someone he cared about, and had he known it was her all this time . . . he would have tracked her down sooner. Talked to her sooner. Invited her here sooner. He couldn't undo the past no matter how much he wished he could. He only hoped he could help her in the present, and future . . . when it came to being with her family. He knew he should have done a better job of looking out for her. Had he, then none of this would have happened. When he'd invited her on his father's boat, he hadn't been thinking about anything else apart from how much fun they could have, away from everything and everyone. He had not been thinking of anyone else and . . . it had cost the both of them. He wished he could take it back, if only to spare her all the pain and suffering she had endured. He knew it was his fault, on a whole new level. Because, he had not only invited her, but it had also been because of his family that the boat was sabotaged.

He focused on her words, giving a bit of a smile when she spoke of how she thought it may not be such a terrible idea to stay. Check on her friend, and her family. Oliver was so very glad to hear. He wanted her to be with them, and he saw the pain in her father and sister's eyes everytime he was in their company. They missed her, and he knew that Sara missed them too. Oliver walked up to her, gently placing his hand on her shoulder as he began to respond to her words. "I care about you, Sara," he began to say, vocalizing his earlier thoughts. "So you never have to thank me for any of this. I'm just happy that you have decided to stay, at least for a little while." He had been determined to convince her at the hospital and, well . . . here they were. And he wasn't about to add more pressure to her just yet.

"I know this is hard, but I'm here, for you and with you." He knew firsthand how difficult it was to return to ones family after all they had endured. He had not been able to just fall into their warm embrace and act as if nothing had happened. One of the first nights, he had attacked his mother in the middle of the night, and he had hardly been able to be in their company. And of course, not to mention the fact that he had put on a hood, leather costuem, and ran around trying to right the wrongs committed by his father. "You won't be going through any of this alone." Oliver had tried to do that, and he hadn't been successful. It took time, he knew that, but her being here was a start. And he was eternally grateful that she was trying to do at least that much. "Laurel and your father miss you." He paused for a moment. "I missed you," he added, softly smiling. He wanted her to know how good it was to have her here, back in Starling. Whatever their past, she was a dear friend to him and he was so relieved to see that she was here.